Riverside Park Mom visiting her nest on the Hudson River. Riverside Park Dad. Riverside Park Mom. Palemale on 965 Fifth Avenue. Palemale going to sleep in a cozy pine tree in Central Park. Today I looked up at the Beresford window and stared at the empty wrought iron rail which so often held Lola's beautiful frame with so much symmetry as if it was crafted especially for her. My heart grew heavier as I recalled whenever I found her there alone I would soon leave her in search of Palemale. But if instead I found Palemale in the window I stayed with him and never went in search of her. I recounted this biasness over the years and always whispered to her as I walked off "I know you understand Lola. I just know you understand." Now I stare up at the empty window and long to stay with her even for just one more moment. I strain my gaze fancying that she is inside the window arranging some sticks and then she would suddenly hop onto the rail and begin to preen. I still look for her on every limb of every tree along each sterile path I take through Central Park. So many times I feel I see her but it turns out to be just a hump in a branch or a cluster of dried leaves tricking my eyes. I feel if I give up looking for her that I would have failed her, and yet I feel if I probe too much I may be dishonoring all the beauty she brought throughout the many years she spent with us. But I shall never stop looking and I will continue to hope that one day one of those bends in the branches or one of those clusters of leaves will turn out to be my beautiful friend. All images above photographed in Riverside Park & Central Park on Monday January 17, 2011. January 17, 2011 newitem213852790